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10 RIDICULOUSLY UNRELATABLE RAP LYRICS

In MAGAZINE on June 19, 2013 at 3:47 pm

Remember when hip hop wasn’t a cesspool of disgustingly rampant materialism? Remember when it was an expression of the collective struggle of the lower class? Rappers once sang about things that scared the living hell out of suburban house-moms like killing cops and robbing liquor stores. And now here we are in 2013 and the quality of rap in general is at its lowest point in history. Not that there isn’t any good hip hop being produced, but the rappers who have “made it”—the ones who get played on the radio and have their words taken as gospel by millions of kids—have gotten so far detached from the real world that it’s mind-boggling why any non-private-jet-owning person would ever listen to them. And while an entire book could be filled with lyrics that are thoroughly unrelatable to the common person, here are just a few of the most disgustingly egregious ones.

50 CENT – “I GET MONEY”

“Have a baby by me, baby, be a millionaire/ I write the check before the baby comes, who the fuck cares?”

Translation: “For a rich rapper who likes to get his fuck on like me, dropping millions of dollars in child support is just plain easier than paying for pregnancy tests or wearing condoms. It is literally worth at least a million dollars to have unprotected sex with some random woman. I am literally jizzing money over here.”

 

JAY-Z – “ILLEST MOTHERFUCKER ALIVE”

“Basquiats, Warhols serving as my muses/ My house like a museum, so I see ‘em when I’m peeing/ Usually you have this much taste, you European”

Translation: “Even though the nicest art most people who buy my albums will ever see is a spraypainted mural of Tupac, I’ve got a veritable museum right here in my shitter. You know, just in case I get mildly bored in the five minutes when I’m squeezing out a turd, and no, I’m not talking about Kingdom Come.”

 

RICK ROSS – “RICH OFF COCAINE”

“Vacation to Haiti, it nearly broke my heart/ Seeing kids starve, I thought about my Audemar”

Translation: “My fat ass was having such a dandy time on vacay in Haiti until I noticed that it’s a festering, disease-ridden third world country. Then I felt slightly guilty for wearing a $150K watch.” And on that note…

 

KANYE WEST – “DIAMONDS FROM SIERRA LEONE”

“I thought my Jesus piece was so harmless / ‘Til I seen a picture of a shorty armless / And here’s the conflict / It’s in a black person’s soul to rock that gold / Spend ya whole life tryna get that ice”

Translation: “Man, being a disgustingly rich black celebrity is hard! It’s in my nature to want to wear hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of diamonds, but they come at the price of black kids in Sierra Leone getting their arms cut off… Oh well, check out how Gucci I look!”

LIL WAYNE – “LET THE BEAT BUILD”

“Used to think my shit didn’t stink, boy was I wrong/ Approving million dollar deals from my iPhone”

Translation: “Yeah, I use the same cell phone as you common people, but I do way crazier shit with it. NoAngry Birds for me. Sometimes I’ll make a million dollar business transaction while you are getting email alerts from Chase that your balance just hit negative $4.”

BONUS: LIL WAYNE – “3 PEAT”

“Got a million duffled up for the fuck of it.”

Translation: “In case you haven’t noticed, I do some weird shit with a million dollars. Sometimes, I’ll fill a duffel bag with cash in case I need to skip town or want to whip homeless people with it or something.”

 

FABOLOUS – “THROW IT IN THE BAG”

“Keepin’ the baton, Louis Vuitton/ Gucci down to her feet, yup just like me/ I’m the one, with them ones/ Fuck the price on the tag, just throw it in the bag”

Translation: “Remember when the Geto Boys were rapping about killing sprees? Well, I am devoting an entire song to shopping sprees! Here’s a song I wrote that sounds like I’m reading off a bunch of receipts. It also points out that I have absolutely no awareness of how tame rappers have gotten since I am wearing the same brands as the women I’m trying to fuck.”

 

SOULJA BOY – “ROCKIN’ ALL MY CHAINS ON”

“50,000 dollars spent just to make my rims spin/ Half a million dollars spent on the house I live in/ Even more spent on the seat I sit my ass in”

Translation: “My understanding of money is so horribly askew that I think chairs should cost more than houses. There are plenty of wise financial decisions in ol’ Soulja Boy’s future!“

 

BIRDMAN – “MONEY TO BLOW”

“I am on a 24-hour champagne diet/ Spillin’ while I’m sippin’, I encourage you to try it/ I’m probably just saying that ’cause I don’t have to buy it/ The club owner supply it, boy I’m on that fly shit”

Translation: “In case you only envy me for my money, you should also know that I never have to pay for anything either since people comp me stuff for being a notable connoisseur of gaudy crap.“

 

JADAKISS – “WE GONNA MAKE IT”

“My bathtub lift up, my walls do a 360/ We got the shit that the government got/ Talking money then you rubbing the spot”

Translation: “You ever seen that show MTV Cribs? I make that shit look like This Old House. Even my bathroom looks like something from the Men In Black compound.”

 

CHRIS BROWN – “WHY STOP NOW”

“We can do anything, walk into anywhere and buy anything!”

Translation: “Help! I’m on a mission to be the most unlikable man in music but unfortunately, I have the creativity and vocabulary skills of a dead squirrel. But trust me, I’ve still got lots of money! Breezy out.” *Punches own reflection in mirror*

 

Dan Ozzi runs Jaded Punk. Follow him on Twitter – @danozzi

A$AP FERG, BODEGA BAMZ, THE UNDERACHIEVERS, AND THE FLATBUSH ZOMBIES

In Events, MAGAZINE on June 19, 2013 at 2:05 pm

By Verena Stefanie Grotto

Hip-hop is having a renaissance right now in the city of New York, where it seems like every other day a new MC rises up out of the five boroughs with an even more unique style and approach to the music than what we thought was possible before. Motley crews like the A$AP Mob, the Beast Coast, and World’s Fair have given us a reason to love rhymes again. We’ve written a lot about this stuff, but sometimes words don’t do it justice. So, we’ve linked up with scene insider Verena Stefanie Grotto to document the new New York movement as it happens in real time, with intimate shots of rappers, scenesters, artists, and fashion fiends.

For this installment, Verena caught up with A$AP FergMarty BallaThe Underachievers, and Bodega BAMZ. She then shot photos of the Flatbush Zombies during their headlining set on Brooklyn’s Summer Stage, where she came across a mysterious pile of one-dollar bills.

Photographer Verena Stefanie was born and bred in Bassano del Grappa, Italy. The small town is not known for hip-hop, but they do make a very tasty grape-based pomace brandy there called grappa. Stefanie left Bassano del Grappa at the age of 17 to go and live the wild skateboarding life in Barcelona, Spain, where she worked as the Fashion Coordinator for VICE Spain. Tired of guiding photographers to catch the best shots, she eventually grabbed the camera herself and is now devoted to documenting artists, rappers, style-heads, and more. She recently directed a renowned documentary about the Grime scene in UK and has had photo features in GQ, CosmopolitanVICE, and many more. 

Check out her website and follow her on Twitter and Instagram.

@VerenaStefanie

Need Beats?? Beat Auction Saturday

In MAGAZINE on February 18, 2013 at 2:25 pm

Networking Event For All Music People

PRODUCERS BEAT AUCTION EVENT

@T.E.N. ATL Lounge East Atlanta

495 Float Shoals Ave Atlanta Ga 30316

Sat. Feb. 23rd @8pm-2am

If you need BEATS/TRACKS

we welcome ALL

*Managers*Artists*Labels*Songwriters*Industry folks to come BID & BUY BEATS!

FROM HOT PRODUCERS FROM ALL OVER THE USA FOR DA LOW!

We Going Have Producers Showcasing & Selling Beats Just For You!

*DubStep Beats * Hip Hop Beats *R&B Beats *Rap Beats *Dance Tracks * & more!

Q: What is The Producers Beat Auction All About

A: It’s a music industry networking event where producers get on stage and showcase their tracks to sell to the highest bidder live on the spot!

 

We Have Two Categories You Can Buy Non-Exclusive Beats Low As $50.00 and Non-Exclusive for starting at $200.00

We’re Going To have Alot Of Music Industry VIPs in the BUILDING!

Check This Out!

PBA IS ENDORSED BY GRAMMY AWARD SUPER PRODUCER

“CHUCKEY CHARLES”

ALSO A LIVE PERFORMANCE

YOUNG DIRT

ATTENTION VENDOR SPACE IS AVAILABLE

If you like to reserve table to promote your products or services we have a few table spaces available for only $50.00 Please get in touch with one of our representatives as soon as possible info@producersbeatauction.com

PRODUCERS IF YOU WANT TO REGISTER SEND US A EMAIL & A SAMPLE OF YOUR TRACKS OR A LINK TO YOUR SITE. WE SEEKING ALL STYLES OF MUSIC!

Purchase Your TIckets Now TO EXPERIENCE AN EVENT LIKE NO OTHER!! #INNOVATIVE

*This Event Is Created by Vance “Choo The Specializt” Branch a Multi-Platinum music producer for Tupac Shakur/ & the Wutang Clan!

So Spread The Word & Come Out!

TRIVIA GAMES

GREAT NETWORKING

FREE GIVEAWAYS FROM IZOTOPE

T PAIN EFFECTS BUNDLE & MORE

IF YOU WILL LIKE TO BECOME A SPONSOR SEND US A EMAIL TODAY!

IF YOU ARE NOT ABLE TO ATTEND IN PERSON YOU CAN WATCH & PARTICIPATE RIGHT FROM YOUR HOME ON YOUR PC!

PAY PER VIEW BEAT AUCTION

CLICK HERE

FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/Beatauction

TWITTER: @beatauctioatl

WEBSITE: https:www.producersbeatauction.com

INFO@PRODUCERSBEATAUCTION.COM

Contact (678)871-9399

BIG IN DA STREET MAG #5 Is Now Available…

In MAGAZINE on July 25, 2012 at 2:28 am

 

Click the link below to get yours today!!

BIG IN DA STREET MAGAZINE

Big In Da Street: BIG IN DA STREET MAGAZINE

Music,Fashion,Cars,Chicks

Find out more on MagCloud

MMG X YMCMB THE TAKEOVER!!!!

In MAGAZINE on June 5, 2012 at 3:16 am

Maybach Music Group Recording Artist GUNPLAY a.k.a Don Logan is back to take over the summer with another high energy record called “BANANA CLIPS” with the assistance of YMCMB captain LIL WAYNE. This hard hitting 808 record which was produced by THE RENEGADES have Gunplay and Lil Wayne going ape sh*t on their verses. This is the first single off the highly anticipated EP “BOGOTA” coming this summer.

Follow the link below…

GUNPLAY – BANANA CLIPS FT. LIL WAYNE (DIRTY)